{"id":131178,"date":"2024-11-28T22:15:24","date_gmt":"2024-11-28T15:15:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/?p=131178"},"modified":"2024-11-28T22:15:24","modified_gmt":"2024-11-28T15:15:24","slug":"im-a-lottery-millionaire-i-cant-believe-what-my-family-is-forbidding-me-from-spending-it-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/?p=131178","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m a lottery millionaire. I can\u2019t believe what my family is \u201cforbidding\u201d me from spending it on."},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script>\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"fluid\"\r\n     data-ad-layout-key=\"-fb+5w+4e-db+86\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"7910942971\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"mainEntityOfPage\">\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"19\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40ff5uy004v3qkzpipxvlz3@published\"><em>Slate Plus members get\u00a0more\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/human-interest\/care-and-feeding\"><em>Care and Feeding<\/em><\/a><em> every week. Have a question about kids, parenting, or family life?\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/forms.gle\/4BXEw8Wtcd7aAyXh9\"><em>Submit it here<\/em><\/a><em>!<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"4\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnoos002h3571twfqll54@published\"><strong>Dear Care and Feeding,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"152\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnoq6002i35715c8d3cit@published\">My neighbor, \u201cTreena,\u201d came out to me as a lesbian when she was 16 and asked me not to say anything to her parents, as they are very conservative Catholics. Last summer, the day after Treena graduated from high school, her parents found a card from Treena\u2019s girlfriend and confronted their daughter about her orientation. When Treena told them she was a lesbian, they kicked her out and she ended up on my doorstep, sobbing, with a hastily packed suitcase in hand. To add insult to injury, her parents also refused to pay her tuition at the college she would be attending in the fall. I let her crash with me, thinking her parents would come to their senses. They have not. My attempt at asking them if they would be willing to reconcile with her was met with a terse \u201cyou took the little (anti-LGBTQ slur) in; she\u2019s your problem now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"67\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnowq002j3571flqmvxew@published\">Twenty-five years ago, I won a significant amount of money in my state\u2019s lottery, and thanks to savvy investments I am set for life\u2014several lifetimes, in fact. I am not married and don\u2019t have kids of my own and have decided to pay Treena\u2019s way through college. Treena left for school in August, and I am happy to say she is thriving away from her repressive parents.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"59\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnoy9002k3571fcxf525d@published\">A few weeks ago, I was having lunch with my sister, \u201cMadison,\u201d and told her about what happened to Treena. Madison was all sympathy\u2014until I told her of my decision to pay for Treena\u2019s education. Then she upbraided me for \u201cpaying out so much money for someone who isn\u2019t family.\u201d That\u2019s when things started to go off the rails.<\/p>\n<aside data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-roadblock\/instances\/cm40fo8e200353571vw3gwd9q@published\" class=\"slate-roadblock\">\n<\/aside>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"111\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnp15002m35712nie3mh8@published\">I was extremely generous with my entire family when I won the lottery money. I paid for my niece\u2019s wedding and bought her and her husband a house. I fully funded Madison\u2019s son\u2019s college tuition and am currently paying for her daughter\u2019s graduate program. I covered Madison\u2019s legal bills when she divorced her ne\u2019er-do-well husband, and bought her a new condo so she could have a fresh start. I am also paying for our parents to live in an expensive retirement community. In spite of all this, paying for Treena\u2019s education isn\u2019t going to put a dent in my finances; our entire family will still be extremely well taken care of.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"90\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnp2o002n35710vels6e6@published\">When I pointed all this out to Madison\u2014along with the fact that I have known Treena since she was 3 years old\u2014my sister got huffy, so I left. She has been giving me the cold shoulder since then, and, worse, has told everyone that Treena is using me for money. There has been no end to correcting the record with numerous friends and relatives. About half have been understanding and are disgusted with Madison, but the rest believe her and have been haranguing me about my decision to help Treena.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"128\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnp4c002o3571isvjl7zj@published\">I am furious over the rift Madison has caused in the family and am half-tempted to stop paying for my niece\u2019s graduate program, but I don\u2019t feel right punishing her for her mother\u2019s deplorable behavior. All I want is for things to go back to the way they were, especially with the holidays just around the corner. I usually host a big gathering that we all look forward to, but since Madison upended everything, I know I\u2019m going to be spending the entire time being hounded by half my relatives about this. The trouble is that it will cause even more friction in the family if I exclude those who think they have a right to tell me what to do with my money. What\u2019s the solution here?<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"5\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnp5q002p3571c22fi72m@published\">\u2014My Bottom Line, My Business<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"4\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnp7f002q3571q7csqgl5@published\"><strong>Dear My Bottom Line,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"83\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnp8v002r3571wrnxtj8j@published\">I get why it feels terrible to be subjected to your relatives\u2019 interrogations and condemnations just because you\u2019ve chosen to be generous with a young family friend\u2014particularly when many of those relatives have benefited from your generosity over the years. I\u2019m glad you were there for Treena when she needed you, and of course it\u2019s very kind of you to finance her education. It\u2019s not as if you\u2019ve denied your relatives the same support, so they truly have no cause to be upset.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"186\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnpad002s3571m27ox2bm@published\">The immediate decision you\u2019re facing, about whether or not to host your annual holiday party, really depends on you and how much you actually want to see and spend time with Madison and other trouble-making relatives right now. If you think it would make for an unpleasant experience with half the guests harassing you over your kindness to Treena (which again, is frankly bizarre on their parts), maybe you should just do what feels best for <em>you<\/em> and forgo the big party this year. You might feel sad about that\u2014which is ok; you have a right to\u2014and others may be peeved if they aren\u2019t invited to the festivities. But you know, if people wanted to be invited to your place for the holidays, they could have behaved better. Carefully expressing concern is one thing; being angry with you for helping Treena is another. You don\u2019t owe anyone a huge party, ever, and you definitely don\u2019t when they are currently committed to judging how you use your own money. Spend time with the people you <em>want<\/em> to spend time with, and protect your peace during the holidays.<\/p>\n<aside data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/in-article-recirc\/instances\/cm40ff5uy004z3qkzywihkwnc@published\" class=\"in-article-recirc\" data-via=\"article-inline_recirc-section-advice\">\n<ol class=\"in-article-recirc__list\">\n<li class=\"in-article-recirc__item\">\n          <a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/11\/friend-moving-montana-cowboy-tradwife-dear-prudence-advice.html\" class=\"in-article-recirc__link\"><\/p>\n<p>            Help! My Friend Is Moving to Montana to Search for a Cowboy Millionaire.<br \/>\n          <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n<li class=\"in-article-recirc__item\">\n          <a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/11\/canceled-thanksgiving-family-advice-dear-prudence.html\" class=\"in-article-recirc__link\"><\/p>\n<p>            Help! I \u201cAccidentally\u201d Canceled My Entire Family\u2019s Thanksgiving. Oops.<br \/>\n          <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n<li class=\"in-article-recirc__item\">\n          <a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/11\/unconvetional-marriage-daughter-kids-parenting-advice.html\" class=\"in-article-recirc__link\"><\/p>\n<p>            My Daughter Has an \u201cUnconventional\u201d Marriage. I Don\u2019t Understand How She Could Accept This.<br \/>\n          <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n<li class=\"in-article-recirc__item\">\n          <a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/11\/parenting-advice-divorce-fighting-kids.html\" class=\"in-article-recirc__link\"><\/p>\n<p>            My Ex Somehow Convinced My Daughters I\u2019m the Winner in Our Divorce<br \/>\n          <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/aside>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"109\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnpcg002t3571kjy3t1jq@published\">As for all the days after, it could go a few different ways over the long term. You should tell Madison and anyone echoing her selfish arguments that this topic is off-limits, and be ready to end the conversation if they don\u2019t listen. Make it clear that their petty pressure campaign is pointless, because your mind is made up about helping Treena. Left on their own to stew, Madison and your other difficult relatives might exhaust themselves and give up this particular fight, particularly once they realize it\u2019s futile. I strongly suspect that they won\u2019t want to risk permanently alienating you or losing their own access to your money.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"162\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnpds002u3571tk9azkdu@published\">I don\u2019t wish to invent motives or hurt your feelings, but I think it\u2019s worth considering <em>why<\/em> Madison and others are behaving this way. Because I don\u2019t think the real issue is that they feel entitled to tell you what to do with your money; I think the issue is that they clearly feel entitled to the money itself\u2014so much so that they can\u2019t even bear to see some go to Treena, a young woman who has essentially lost her family due to no fault of her own. You helping her doesn\u2019t take anything away from your relatives, who will still want for nothing if you continue to be generous with them. While you don\u2019t have to cut your niece or anyone off at this moment, I do think it\u2019s ok to let your family know that if this is the attitude they\u2019re going to have, you will need to seriously consider how much assistance you offer them in the future.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"slate-paragraph--tombstone\">\u2014Nicole<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"subhead subhead--none\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/subhead\/instances\/cm40foms5003b3571a2av6lv7@published\">\n<p>More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n<\/h3>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"169\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm40fnpgj002w3571se35kmb6@published\">My mother-in-law called my husband this evening and told us that his stepsister-in-law was going into premature induced labor at 34 weeks because something is wrong with the baby\u2019s heart. We aren\u2019t super close to the couple, but we were nonetheless scared and devastated for them and their other young child. Well, we received another text that simply said the baby was here and they didn\u2019t know anything more than her name. For the purposes of this query let\u2019s call her \u201cAlexandra.\u201d Well, exactly eight months ago I had a baby that we named \u201cAlex.\u201d My husband and I are hurt and offended. Even if they call her Alexandra, other people, friends, family, will call her Alex. They essentially gave their child the same name as ours and we cannot say anything because the baby is sick. It\u2019s so hurtful, and it\u2019s a hurt we cannot even express. If the baby pulls through, and I certainly hope she does, I never want to see them again.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/human-interest\/2015\/10\/dear-prudence-another-couple-gave-their-baby-a-name-close-to-ours.html\">What do we do?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n!function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s){\nif(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod?\nn.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)};if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n;\nn.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0';n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0;\nt.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0];s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window,\ndocument,'script','https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/fbevents.js');\n<\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script>\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"fluid\"\r\n     data-ad-layout-key=\"-fb+5w+4e-db+86\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"7910942971\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1660802\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/11\/lottery-millionaire-forbidden-investment-care-and-feeding.html\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Slate Plus members get\u00a0more\u00a0Care and Feeding every week. Have a question about kids, parenting, or family life?\u00a0Submit it here! Dear Care and Feeding, My neighbor, \u201cTreena,\u201d came out to me &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/?p=131178\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8628],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-131178","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-science","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131178","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=131178"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131178\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=131178"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=131178"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=131178"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}