{"id":137124,"date":"2024-12-15T00:52:11","date_gmt":"2024-12-14T17:52:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/?p=137124"},"modified":"2024-12-15T00:52:11","modified_gmt":"2024-12-14T17:52:11","slug":"i-just-ran-into-the-man-who-broke-into-my-house-at-kindergarten-pickup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/?p=137124","title":{"rendered":"I just ran into the man who broke into my house \u2026 at kindergarten pickup."},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script>\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"fluid\"\r\n     data-ad-layout-key=\"-fb+5w+4e-db+86\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"7910942971\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"mainEntityOfPage\">\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"20\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu7dt6004dncm4se4k0rtn@published\"><em>Dear Prudence is Slate\u2019s advice column.\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/author\/delia-cai\"><em>Delia Cai<\/em><\/a><em>\u00a0is filling in as Prudie for Jen\u00e9e Desmond-Harris<\/em><strong><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><em>while she\u2019s on parental leave.\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/docs.google.com\/forms\/d\/e\/1FAIpQLSd_tjeEx47o2lIrDSg1Ioh_9shU0REmIAAtvoVHZj_FWz76AA\/viewform\"><strong><em>Submit questions here<\/em><\/strong><\/a><em>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"2\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9grl002c3571d0v96lod@published\"><strong>Dear Prudence,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"84\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9gt0002e35715q7b2krb@published\">15 years ago, an intoxicated man broke into my home in the middle of the night, kicked my dog, took my keys, and attempted to steal my car before being apprehended by my then-boyfriend. The police were called and the man was taken away. Thankfully, I was not injured, but the experience was still upsetting and terrifying. Days later my boyfriend and I broke up, I moved out of the house, and was never contacted by anyone about charges or follow-up on the case.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"32\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9guf002i3571vu7ns7x9@published\">I hadn\u2019t thought about the incident in years, but this week I was picking up my child from an event for incoming kindergarteners and there this man was with his own child.<\/p>\n<aside data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-roadblock\/instances\/cm4lub7ai004w3571a9nne7h8@published\" class=\"slate-roadblock\">\n<\/aside>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"104\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9gxv002l3571sn9ys6g6@published\">I doubt he recognizes me, as he only saw me once, in the dark, while he was heavily intoxicated 15 years ago. My question is how to handle future interactions with him, as our children will likely be in school together for the next 13 years and our paths will likely cross. I am an introvert by nature, but it seems wrong to ignore this and let it sit until our children are old enough to Google our names and see the articles about this case. I don\u2019t think I will be able to feign surprise if the incident is revealed years from now.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"6\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9h0u002m3571saqp85t5@published\">\u2014Awkward PTA Meetings in My Future<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"3\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9h28002n3571fyjw0x24@published\"><strong>Dear PTA Meetings,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"78\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9h3i002o3571qbglkl3a@published\">That is, pardon my language, fucking crazy. I\u2019m so sorry that happened to you\u2014it must have felt terrifying to recognize him so many years later. I hope you\u2019ve been able to work through the original freak event with the help of supportive friends, family, and ideally a good therapist or counselor; if not, it might be time to invest generously in your own well-being, because I\u2019m sure this run-in will kick up a lot of emotions for you.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"188\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9h4z002p3571p8nn04rd@published\">You\u2019re right that this man probably won\u2019t recognize you, and it\u2019s even possible that he has totally changed his life and would want to make amends if he knew who you were. I wouldn\u2019t blame you if you wanted to reach out to him, but I would suggest that you bring a friend along if, say, you went up to him during school pick-up. (If we\u2019re going to get nitty gritty with it, I actually don\u2019t think a public confrontation is the best way to go about this; my style would be to get his email from a school directory and reach out in a very business-like but vague way, saying <em>Hi, I\u2019m a parent at this school, and I know you are too, and there\u2019s something I want to speak about with you.<\/em> Suggest coffee somewhere semi-public, and have a friend stationed at this coffee shop ahead of time.) Your goal is not to extract an apology, but a shared acknowledgement of this past incident and a mutual understanding that you will both be in the same orbit now, and that it will be awkward at best.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"131\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9h6b002q3571vuzz98bt@published\">But this is only if you feel physically comfortable talking with him, especially given the possibility that he will respond angrily, or defensively. (He\u2019s probably going to be very afraid that you\u2019ll tell all the other parents about this). It doesn\u2019t sound to me like this man is an obviously dangerous person, but you should be prepared for your personal alarm bells to go a bit wild if and when you interact. That\u2019s why I don\u2019t think you should do it alone. But ultimately, you\u2019re not under any obligation to straighten things out with him just for the sake of your kids; my concern is more so what it will do to your mental health and peace-of-mind to be regularly bracing yourself for contact with this terrifying part of your past.\u00a0 <strong\/><\/p>\n<div class=\"prudie-google-form\" data-form-response-uri=\"https:\/\/docs.google.com\/forms\/u\/0\/d\/e\/1FAIpQLSd_tjeEx47o2lIrDSg1Ioh_9shU0REmIAAtvoVHZj_FWz76AA\/formResponse\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/prudie-google-form\/instances\/cm4luas65004j3571st6i6ar8@published\">\n<p class=\"prudie-google-form__disclaimer\">\n      Please keep questions short (&lt;150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n    <\/p>\n<p>    <iframe class=\"js-hidden-iframe\" name=\"hidden_iframe\" id=\"hidden_iframe\" style=\"display:none;\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-notification--success js-success-message\" hidden=\"\">Thanks! Your question has been submitted.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"2\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9h9j002s3571pjuijgsz@published\"><strong>Dear Prudence,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"178\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hau002t35713q835xxy@published\">I need advice on how to deal with a friend I honestly don\u2019t like. We\u2019ll call him Elliot. He has lied and been mean to my friends multiple times, and just recently told a very private secret to someone. He tells me to \u201cshut the fuck up\u201d over text A LOT when I contradict him. Elliot wears skirts and dresses, and I have no problem with this. He is not a girl. I have no problem with this. He is Asian. I have no problem with this. I have no problems with any of this! But when I argue that the things he\u2019s doing to me and my friends aren\u2019t right, he breaks down and says that he \u201cdoesn\u2019t know what to do with his life\u201d or something like that. I really don\u2019t want to be his therapist for him. The other thing he does is to say he \u201cdidn\u2019t ask for it,\u201d or he gets defensive and swears. I don\u2019t want to completely break ties because of proximity to him every day, so what should I do?<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"4\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hc9002u3571s285j0ph@published\">\u2014I Can\u2019t Deal Anymore<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"3\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hdn002v3571qq2mdpns@published\"><strong>Dear Can\u2019t Deal,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"82\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hf5002w3571uou96qpq@published\">Hmm. It doesn\u2019t sound like Elliot is acting like a friend at all, which makes me wonder why you\u2019re putting yourself in a position to even \u201cbe his therapist\u201d in the first place. I\u2019m guessing he\u2019s part of a friend group, so he comes with the whole package. If that\u2019s the case, you may need to start negotiating a new relationship with the group at large, which will probably involve cultivating the individual friendships one-on-one instead of defaulting to the group hang.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"146\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hgx002x3571l9c0wgnn@published\">That said, I\u2019m going to be honest\u2014it <em>does<\/em> sound like there is a tiny whiff of judgment coming from you re: Elliot. It may not be actually about his race or his personal style, but there\u2019s clearly something about the way he does his thing that you don\u2019t agree with. Or you just don\u2019t like him. Which is fine! You are absolutely allowed to not like someone! But it\u2019s one thing to dislike a person and distance yourself from them; it\u2019s another, slightly masochistic matter entirely to keep putting yourself in his orbit to squabble and exude this judgment, which I\u2019m sure he picks up on. Tolerating someone in the friend group doesn\u2019t automatically give you the right to comment on their choices (and Elliot is in the right when he says he didn\u2019t ask for being who he is). So consider yourself off the hook!<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"2\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hli00303571aqkg9g0x@published\"><strong>Dear Prudence,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"178\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hn300313571c8rp90jn@published\">My family is very Catholic. I accept that, everyone has a right to religious beliefs, and I believe in God as well. However, my dad recently said that he doesn\u2019t believe in climate change, evolution, or vaccines. Oh, boy. I just stayed silent, but it\u2019s getting worse. He\u2019s started his way down a flat earth rabbit hole. He\u2019s dragging my mom and sister down with him, and whenever I oppose him, I\u2019ve been \u201cbrainwashed.\u201d I\u2019m liberal, admittedly, but I respect their right to different beliefs, and I normally keep my mouth shut unless there\u2019s a blatant misquotation or something wildly wrong. What do I even do here? I can\u2019t spend the rest of my life hearing that the all-loving God hates all my friends, that the very real climate crisis isn\u2019t happening, that a scientific process isn\u2019t real, and that the vaccine that saved my life is evil. Any opposition is met with resistance and anger, and I don\u2019t know how long I can stay silent for.<br \/>What can I do besides sit there smiling placidly and dying inside?<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"7\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hop00323571g2qajk9s@published\">\u2014Modern Day Problems Require Modern Day Solutions<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"3\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hqa00333571fv9k328x@published\"><strong>Dear Modern Day,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"131\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hrq0034357127r8y1l7@published\">There\u2019s such a funny flip that happens when you become an adult and realize you <em>probably very likely absolutely<\/em> know better than your family, no? We feel such a parental responsibility to them, and under the very real threat of the climate disaster or, like, our next pandemic, there is such an urgency to set them straight\u2014and to do it quickly! I feel for you. It\u2019s unnerving to experience this role reversal; just because you\u2019re a grown-up now, too, doesn\u2019t mean that you don\u2019t secretly still want to feel like you can depend on your parents and sister. You want to be able to trust their judgment, and that\u2019s not happening. As a result, you\u2019ve now given yourself this sense of impossible responsibility for everyone\u2019s well-being, and it\u2019s freaking you out.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"184\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9ht200353571t5bja7fn@published\">The counterintuitive thing to do here is to start building (or rebuilding) that trust. Offer to take hot-button issues off the table completely, and spend a few family interactions focusing as much as possible on the most anodyne subjects possible. The goal is to simply spend time together and find areas of agreement and connection (even if it comes down to playing hours of UNO in silence). You have to imagine your family members\u2019 belief systems as a life raft that they\u2019re clinging to out of a deep-rooted fear; no amount of rational debate is ever going to convince them to pry their fingers off and risk floating in nothingness. You are going to have to let them clutch at this life raft while you swim out and patiently tread water next to them for a while. Your dad especially is going to need to feel like you respect the fears he has that are implicit to his beliefs about vaccines, the universe, etc., and that he\u2019s allowed to express those fears, however distastefully, before he can begin to think about loosening his grip.<\/p>\n<aside data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/in-article-recirc\/instances\/cm4lu7dt6004hncm4x8ehjcyv@published\" class=\"in-article-recirc\" data-via=\"article-inline_recirc-section-advice\">\n<ol class=\"in-article-recirc__list\">\n<li class=\"in-article-recirc__item\">\n          <a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/12\/dear-prudence-crazy-calls-all-hours.html\" class=\"in-article-recirc__link\"><\/p>\n<p>            Help! My Girlfriend\u2019s Father Is Texting and Calling Me With \u201cEmergencies\u201d at All Hours.<br \/>\n          <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n<li class=\"in-article-recirc__item\">\n          <a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/12\/brother-proposal-ring-girlfriend-family-advice.html\" class=\"in-article-recirc__link\"><\/p>\n<p>            My Brother Proposed to His Girlfriend Without a Ring. Guess Who She Blames.<br \/>\n          <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n<li class=\"in-article-recirc__item\">\n          <a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/12\/nephew-lesson-gambling-family-advice.html\" class=\"in-article-recirc__link\"><\/p>\n<p>            I Decided to Teach My Young Nephew an Important Lesson During a Round of Pool. Uh, I\u2019ve Been Uninvited to Christmas.<br \/>\n          <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n<li class=\"in-article-recirc__item\">\n          <a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/12\/parenting-advice-my-daughters-auntie-makes-poor-choices.html\" class=\"in-article-recirc__link\"><\/p>\n<p>            My Daughter Keeps Asking Where Her Auntie Is. But I Can\u2019t Tell Her the Truth.<br \/>\n          <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/aside>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"57\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hwl003635710y01gqll@published\">Ideally, once you\u2019ve built a new level of rapport with each other, you and your dad might get to a point where you can discuss and even joke about the different things you believe in\u2014and maybe even one of you will get curious about the other\u2019s point of view, and <em>then<\/em> you can start an actual conversation.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"134\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9hyv00373571t6fw0063@published\">That will not happen overnight, but it also does not require you to always be around smiling silently whenever he goes off on a rant. Decide on your own limits for entertaining his spiel\u2014maybe one lunch per quarter, tops, where you let him say whatever he wants? Or proposing a blanket no-politics rule at the holiday dinner table?\u2014and stick to them firmly yet politely. Tell him you guys don\u2019t have to agree on everything, but that you still want to spend time together.<br \/>(Expert mode: Tell him earnestly that you\u2019re glad he raised a child who can think for themselves\u2026) When you inevitably get heated, just Imagine your father clinging to that life raft. Once you make it clear you don\u2019t consider his beliefs to be a personal threat, he may start doing the same.<\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"1\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9i0q00383571ccpi8pc2@published\"><span class=\"slate-paragraph--tombstone\">\u2014Delia<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"6\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9i2a003935712tnq899q@published\"><a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/human-interest\/dear-prudence\"><em>Catch up on this week\u2019s Prudie.<\/em><\/a><em> <\/em><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"subhead subhead--none\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/subhead\/instances\/cm4lu9gu3002h3571lpqoit5u@published\">\n<p>More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n<\/h3>\n<p class=\"slate-paragraph slate-graf\" data-word-count=\"99\" data-uri=\"slate.com\/_components\/slate-paragraph\/instances\/cm4lu9i3t003a35712k6m471m@published\">My husband is very, very smart. He graduated from an Ivy League college, has published in academic journals in multiple fields, and achieved success in a competitive field while still in his 20s. That is all great, but what I like best about him is that he always wore his intelligence lightly. He prefers to ask questions than to expound, answers questions clearly and simply without being patronizing, and is always looking to find people smarter or more knowledgeable than him\u2014he has no desire to be \u201cthe smartest guy in the room.\u201d\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/human-interest\/2023\/08\/andrew-sean-greer-guest-prudence-advice.html\">But that has changed in one specific context.<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n!function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s){\nif(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod?\nn.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)};if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n;\nn.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0';n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0;\nt.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0];s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window,\ndocument,'script','https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/fbevents.js');\n<\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script>\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"fluid\"\r\n     data-ad-layout-key=\"-fb+5w+4e-db+86\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"7910942971\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1660802\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/slate.com\/advice\/2024\/12\/dear-prudence-burglar-kindergarten.html\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Prudence is Slate\u2019s advice column.\u00a0Delia Cai\u00a0is filling in as Prudie for Jen\u00e9e Desmond-Harris\u00a0while she\u2019s on parental leave.\u00a0Submit questions here. Dear Prudence, 15 years ago, an intoxicated man broke into &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/?p=137124\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8628],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-137124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-science","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=137124"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137124\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=137124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=137124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=137124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}