{"id":138465,"date":"2024-12-18T17:10:05","date_gmt":"2024-12-18T10:10:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/?p=138465"},"modified":"2024-12-18T17:10:05","modified_gmt":"2024-12-18T10:10:05","slug":"my-boyfriend-and-i-were-falling-in-love-then-he-hit-me-with-a-deal-breaker-i-never-saw-coming","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/?p=138465","title":{"rendered":"My Boyfriend And I Were Falling In Love. Then He Hit Me With A Deal Breaker I Never Saw Coming."},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script>\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"fluid\"\r\n     data-ad-layout-key=\"-fb+5w+4e-db+86\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"7910942971\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div data-article-body=\"true\">\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">If you told me a year ago that thinking about <em>My Big Fat Greek Wedding\u00a0<\/em>would make me teary, I would have laughed in your face. I\u2019ve loved that film since it came out in 2002, and my family still asks me to do impressions of the aunt and father. My family liked the movie because it reminded us a bit of our own zany relatives. Sure, we\u2019re Argentine Jews, and they were Greek Orthodox Christians, but we\u2019re close-knit and loud, and we love a party as much as we love our traditions.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">So when I got a message on a dating app from a guy who joked that his family was like the one in the movie, I got a little excited. We started dating in October. On our first date, we talked about all of the similarities between the Greek culture of his family and the Jewish culture of mine.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">We were official by Thanksgiving. I was invited to his family\u2019s Thanksgiving (which I referred to as \u201cMy Big Fat Greek Thanksgiving\u201d), and I was introduced as \u201cthe new girlfriend\u201d to his aunts, uncles and cousins. We also enjoyed a trip to my hometown in upstate New York, where he met my dad and my older brother\u2019s family. Dating was going well. We had chemistry. And unlike most of the men I\u2019ve dated, he was a good communicator and open to being vulnerable, which I find important in a partner. Even our pets seemed to approve of us being together.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">I was excited to hear that his mom had invited me to their family\u2019s Christmas, which would be celebrated Jan. 7. Though I grew up with interfaith parents and identify as Jewish, I wasn\u2019t a stranger to Christianity. I\u2019d been to different Mass services with friends and family at times, but I\u2019d never attended a Greek Orthodox service before.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">When I asked during one of our FaceTime calls if I\u2019d be expected to attend Christmas Mass in addition to the family get-together, my boyfriend hesitated as he told me that no, I wouldn\u2019t be going.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">\u201cI\u2019m trying to find a good way to say this,\u201d he stammered, looking away from the screen. \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t be allowed because you\u2019re Jewish.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">I quickly glanced at my phone to make sure it was 2022 and not 1938. I was at a loss for words \u2015 a rarity for me. The conversation dwindled, and I said goodbye, still stunned by what I\u2019d heard. What happened to my boyfriend, the good communicator? What had I missed?<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">Before he\u2019d sent that thoughtful first message on a dating app, I\u2019d hardly dated all year. After more than a decade of seeing people, I was tired. My friends and family members found it entertaining when I\u2019d recount stories of terrible dates, and I was glad to make them laugh. But I was also exhausted after years of small talk, carrying conversations,<em>,<\/em> and making an effort that was rarely reciprocated. After a big heartbreak a few years ago (snotty crying, red face, no appetite\u00a0\u2015 you know the kind), I was reluctant to move forward with a lot of the men I met. They weren\u2019t all horrible, but none seemed to have the lifetime partnership potential I was looking for.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"relative col-body mb-4\">\n<div class=\"relative\"><img alt=\"Person hiking in a wooded area, wearing a patterned headband and tank top, smiling at the camera\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"700\" height=\"891\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"1\" class=\"rounded-lg\" style=\"color:transparent\" src=\"https:\/\/s.yimg.com\/ny\/api\/res\/1.2\/kDBEVE4g5OHgpIoE.Zpa6Q--\/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTEyMjI-\/https:\/\/media.zenfs.com\/en\/buzzfeed_articles_778\/2715d69acb2538ac9b18657d4b0e57b1\"\/><button aria-label=\"View larger image\" class=\"group absolute bottom-3 right-3 size-10 md:size-[50px] lg:inset-0 lg:size-full lg:bg-transparent\" data-ylk=\"elm:expand;itc:1;sec:image-lightbox;slk:lightbox-open;\"><span class=\"absolute bottom-0 right-0 rounded-full bg-white p-3 opacity-100 shadow-elevation-3 transition-opacity duration-300 group-hover:block group-hover:opacity-100 md:p-[17px] lg:bottom-6 lg:right-6 lg:bg-white\/90 lg:p-5 lg:opacity-0 lg:shadow-none\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 22 22\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"size-4 lg:size-6\" width=\"22\" height=\"22\"><path d=\"M12.372.92c0-.506.41-.916.915-.916L21 0l-.004 7.712a.917.917 0 0 1-1.832 0V3.183l-6.827 6.828-1.349-1.348 6.828-6.828h-4.529a.915.915 0 0 1-.915-.915M1.835 17.816l6.828-6.828 1.349 1.349-6.829 6.827h4.529a.915.915 0 0 1 0 1.831L0 21l.004-7.713a.916.916 0 0 1 1.831 0z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/button><dialog aria-label=\"Modal Dialog\" aria-modal=\"true\" class=\"fixed inset-0 z-[4] size-full max-h-none max-w-none bg-white hidden\"\/><\/div><figcaption class=\"relative text-sm mt-1 pr-2.5\">\n<div style=\"max-height:none;overflow:visible\">\n<div>\n<p>One of the author&#8217;s dating profile photos. &#8220;I was on a solo hike when I took this,&#8221; she writes.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span> Courtesy of Allison Grinberg-Funes<\/span><\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">If someone had told me that I\u2019d soon be in a legitimately enjoyable and healthy relationship with a new boyfriend, I would\u2019ve chuckled and thought, \u201cYeah, right.\u201d But I never arrived home from a date with him wishing I\u2019d stayed on my couch. Our conversations were stimulating, he was funny, and we had a great time together. After how dismal life bad been in 2020 thanks to COVID-19, I needed that. This was the first time I\u2019d thought, \u201cHuh, this guy would be fun to do life with.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">So what\u2019s the opposite of fun? Dread? That\u2019s what I felt before FaceTiming my boyfriend the next day. I knew I had to ask the hard question: \u201cWhat happens if, far in the future, you were to marry a woman who is Jewish? Or one who is just not Greek Orthodox?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">He explained that if the person were Jewish, they\u2019d have to convert to Greek Orthodox. If they were Christian but not Greek Orthodox, <a href=\"https:\/\/go.redirectingat.com\/?id=74679X1524629&amp;sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fallisongrinbergfunes%2Fbreakup-boyfriend-religion-family&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.greekorthodoxmansfield.org%2Fabout-us%2Fexpectations-for-wedding-requests%23%3A~%3Atext%3DInter%252DChristian%2520Marriages%26text%3DEven%2520so%252C%2520the%2520Orthodox%2520Church%2Cis%2520not%2520optional%29%253B%2520and&amp;xcust=7772439%7CRSS&amp;xs=1\" data-i13n=\"elm:affiliate_link;elmt:premonetized\" rel=\"sponsored noopener\" target=\"_blank\" data-ylk=\"slk:it could work as long as they were baptized;elm:affiliate_link;elmt:premonetized;itc:0;sec:content-canvas\" class=\"link  rapid-with-clickid etailiffa-link\">it could work as long as they were baptized<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">My breath caught in my chest. I\u2019m Jewish \u2015 I even had my bat mitzvah ceremony in Israel. Though I\u2019m technically Christian on my mom\u2019s side, I was never baptized. I come from a family of Sephardic and Ashkenazi Jewish people from Spain, Turkey, Russia, and Germany (all of whom ended up in Argentina). I was raised to have respect and loyalty for my ancestors and Jewish culture, and I\u2019m proud to be Jewish.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">\u201cI can\u2019t. I can\u2019t convert,\u201d I finally told him. He had to have known I would say this \u2015 I\u2019d told him I felt Jewish in my soul. He didn\u2019t want to ask me to convert.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">We were at a standstill.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">I went into problem-solving mode. Was there really no way to get around it? After all, I knew one of his relatives was getting married outside the church.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">\u201cI want the Greek Orthodox wedding experience,\u201d my boyfriend sighed. He wanted his marriage to be blessed by the church and to have a ceremony within his parish. We stared at each other through iPhone cameras. My stomach dropped because I knew exactly what he meant. I had never been one of those little girls who imagines her wedding day, but one thing I do know is that if I marry someone, I want Jewish traditions involved. I want the whole tradition-filled party \u2014 a chuppah, the breaking the glass, and being lifted up in chairs while loved ones dance the hora around me. \u201cMy Big Fat Jewish Wedding,\u201d if you will. But I was also open to blending my traditions with my partner\u2019s \u2015 just like we\u2019d blend the rest of our lives.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">I put my head in my hands and started to cry. We had never gotten too in depth about the religions of our families \u2014 and now I see we should have. Jewish people have a very wide spectrum of observance. While traditions and religion go hand in hand for conservative and orthodox communities, traditions are observed culturally for many secular or Reform Jews.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">I hadn\u2019t realized it may not work that way with the Greek Orthodox community. I brought up that there are Greek Orthodox and Jewish couples who make it work. My boyfriend explained that his family was \u201cold calendar\u201d Greek Orthodox \u2014 much more conservative than the \u201cnew calendar\u201d Greek Orthodox that those other couples likely were.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">I was looking forward to spending New Year\u2019s Eve with my boyfriend and his friends and going his family\u2019s Christmas party. I was excited to continue perfecting my baklava, which I\u2019d successfully made once (with help, of course). I\u2019d even thought of what it\u2019d be like to have him next to me at the next Passover Seder. If things worked out, I\u2019d thought, maybe years from now I could\u2019ve had \u201cMy Big Fat Greek Jewish Wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">But if my near-Ph.D. level of dating taught me anything, it\u2019s when to bow out \u2015 that you shouldn\u2019t prolong the inevitable.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"relative col-body mb-4\">\n<div class=\"relative\"><img alt=\"Person in casual attire with a backpack stands outdoors on a trail, rocky landscape and a group of people in the background\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"712\" height=\"950\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"1\" class=\"rounded-lg\" style=\"color:transparent\" src=\"https:\/\/s.yimg.com\/ny\/api\/res\/1.2\/2iP2yK5a55hBRtEUIyoeqg--\/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTEyODE-\/https:\/\/media.zenfs.com\/en\/buzzfeed_articles_778\/2622386103b3746d72ec73a080c41d05\"\/><button aria-label=\"View larger image\" class=\"group absolute bottom-3 right-3 size-10 md:size-[50px] lg:inset-0 lg:size-full lg:bg-transparent\" data-ylk=\"elm:expand;itc:1;sec:image-lightbox;slk:lightbox-open;\"><span class=\"absolute bottom-0 right-0 rounded-full bg-white p-3 opacity-100 shadow-elevation-3 transition-opacity duration-300 group-hover:block group-hover:opacity-100 md:p-[17px] lg:bottom-6 lg:right-6 lg:bg-white\/90 lg:p-5 lg:opacity-0 lg:shadow-none\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 22 22\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"size-4 lg:size-6\" width=\"22\" height=\"22\"><path d=\"M12.372.92c0-.506.41-.916.915-.916L21 0l-.004 7.712a.917.917 0 0 1-1.832 0V3.183l-6.827 6.828-1.349-1.348 6.828-6.828h-4.529a.915.915 0 0 1-.915-.915M1.835 17.816l6.828-6.828 1.349 1.349-6.829 6.827h4.529a.915.915 0 0 1 0 1.831L0 21l.004-7.713a.916.916 0 0 1 1.831 0z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/button><dialog aria-label=\"Modal Dialog\" aria-modal=\"true\" class=\"fixed inset-0 z-[4] size-full max-h-none max-w-none bg-white hidden\"\/><\/div><figcaption class=\"relative text-sm mt-1 pr-2.5\">\n<div style=\"max-height:none;overflow:visible\">\n<div>\n<p>The author standing at the foot of Masada mountain in Israel before hiking to the top, where she had her bat mitzvah ceremony.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span> Courtesy of Allison Grinberg-Funes<\/span><\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">\u201cIf I can\u2019t give you what you\u2019d want and convert, I don\u2019t want to break up,\u201d I said, my hands flying in an exaggerated motion that any Jewish or Greek person would recognize. \u201cBut should we be dating?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">He agreed \u2015 we shouldn\u2019t be.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">And that was that.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">I\u2019d never ended a relationship over religion. Disagreements about having children? Absolutely. Political beliefs? Yes. The guy being a jerk? Oh, sure. But if you\u2019d asked me whether I\u2019d break up with a man I was falling in love with over religion \u2015 Greek Orthodox or any other \u2015 I wouldn\u2019t have even considered it a possibility.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">There are always going to be things in life that you don\u2019t expect. When I was dating, I thought the best way to guard against potential deal breakers was to be upfront and include them in my profile. That way, there\u2019d be no guessing or mistaking what I want. Any guy that viewed my profile could see that I was politically left, sitting on the fence about having kids (though leaning toward not having any) and culturally Jewish. But that isn\u2019t enough.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">These are some details that call for in-depth discussions. If you\u2019re on the apps and only looking for a hookup, then sure, these might not be important to you. But if you\u2019re looking for a long-term, serious commitment, then for many people, talking about religion may be important before things get serious. If religion is a significant part of your life, that means it\u2019ll be an important part of your future. And if you see a future with your partner, it\u2019ll play into their life as well.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">Defining \u201csignificant\u201d is also important. A person doesn\u2019t need to attend services daily to find religion meaningful or a priority when choosing a partner. It\u2019s up to you to decide whether it\u2019s a deal breaker and the type of sacrifices you would be willing to make on behalf of your partner\u2019s comfort level and beliefs. Many people expect that religion won\u2019t be a huge factor in dating, especially in this day and age. But for others, religion plays a large, defining role in their identity.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">Being Jewish shapes the way I see and interact with the world. It influences how I choose to celebrate milestones, how I cherish history and storytelling, and even my sense of humor. I\u2019m sure religion does the same for others. While I believe that two different religions and their traditions can be observed and honored in a relationship \u2015 that there can be a way to find harmony between them \u2015 not everyone feels this way (including other Jewish people).<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">It\u2019s 2023, and people have the right and freedom to draw their boundaries where they choose. I learned the hard way that when it comes to dating, you have to discuss those boundaries sooner rather than later, or else your relationship can end up in trouble. I\u2019m sad that my ex and I had to break up \u2015 I really liked him, and I know it was going somewhere good \u2015 but I\u2019ve made peace with what happened. In fact, I\u2019m proud that I stayed true to myself and my identity \u2015 but I definitely don\u2019t want to go through that in the future.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">When I start dating again, I\u2019ll certainly be thinking about all of the things \u2015 including religion \u2015 that might need to be discussed before I get too far into a relationship.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\">Breaking up with someone is hard, even if you do it out of respect for your family\u2019s traditions and for your partner. But I\u2019m open to meeting new people, having new experiences and whatever the future brings. How many things lie ahead that I can\u2019t yet foresee? I can only imagine, but I hope they\u2019re all pleasant surprises. Maybe someday I\u2019ll even find <em>,<\/em> funny again.<\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\"><em>Allison Grinberg-Funes is a writer and user experience content strategist living in Boston. She has a BFA in creative writing and is working on her first novel. You can find her in local indie bookstores or email her at\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.yahoo.com\/lifestyle\/mailto:\/\/\" data-ylk=\"slk:agracefulgrin@gmail.com;elm:context_link;itc:0;sec:content-canvas\" class=\"link \">agracefulgrin@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"col-body mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words min-w-0\"><em>This article originally appeared on <a href=\"https:\/\/go.redirectingat.com\/?id=74679X1524629&amp;sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fallisongrinbergfunes%2Fbreakup-boyfriend-religion-family&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffpost.com%2Fentry%2Fbreakup-boyfriend-religion-family_n_63de9c48e4b04d4d18ecbe6b&amp;xcust=7772439%7CRSS&amp;xs=1\" data-i13n=\"elm:affiliate_link;elmt:premonetized\" rel=\"sponsored noopener\" target=\"_blank\" data-ylk=\"slk:HuffPost;elm:affiliate_link;elmt:premonetized;itc:0;sec:content-canvas\" class=\"link  rapid-with-clickid etailiffa-link\">HuffPost<\/a> in February 2023.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script>\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"fluid\"\r\n     data-ad-layout-key=\"-fb+5w+4e-db+86\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-3711241968723425\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"7910942971\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1660802\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.yahoo.com\/lifestyle\/boyfriend-were-falling-love-then-023102841.html\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you told me a year ago that thinking about My Big Fat Greek Wedding\u00a0would make me teary, I would have laughed in your face. I\u2019ve loved that film since &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/?p=138465\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-138465","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-world","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138465","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=138465"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138465\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=138465"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=138465"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hotvideos24.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=138465"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}